So imagine a scenario where you are all ready to leave for your study abroad university and your flight is delayed and you wait and it delays so long that you would miss your connecting flight and have to leave the following day instead. Yeah. That was me. I was in the airport for five hours on Thursday only to go back home and return on Friday. Woopdido. I was nervous at first, but like everyone says, everything will turn out all right. I definitely had a guardian angel though, in the form of Mr. (name), who was an airport guy who let my Dad and Jess come through security to wait with me at my gate, and helped reschedule my flights. He was even there again on Friday and wished me well.
Now imagine 9/11. Flying out on that particular anniversary made me very uneasy. I knew I was safe. I also knew that the people on those planes thought the same. Life has a funny way of twisting into unforgettable moments. Whether those moments are beautiful, bitter, or full of tragedy, it is life all the same. It reminds us that we are human. It reminds us that all we can do, anyday and everyday, is express love and gratitude and respect towards our loved ones and anyone else who needs it. To that end, I feel incredibly blessed to have gotten the chance to say a second goodbye to my family to to that airline delay mishap. Thanks Universe.
Since getting to Scotland, I haven't had the best of experiences. I was picked up by Stirling Direct, by a bus driver that decided to drop me and two other girls off at a random place on campus to walk the rest of the way. We tried. But one of the other girls suitcases broke, a nice girl from Cyprus who I decided to wait with (for 45 minutes in the rain) while a security car came to get us and drive us the rest of the way. I arrived in my dorm around 3 and ended up having a massive panic attack/homesickness for the rest of the night. I tried to unpack. I failed. I ended up falling asleep on and off until 8 when I went to sleep for the night.
Today was a bit better. I was still having a panic attack but I managed to bury it while I went around campus collecting my ID card, attending a Study Abroad Information Session, and getting kitchen supplies for super cheap costs at the "Green and Blue" Environmental Fair Share Store. When I say super cheap, I mean like 50p for a pot and lid. It's a GREAT place to shop for dorm stuff. Great thing is, I can return anything I don't want at the end of semester for someone else to use! I haven't eaten much due to the feeling of panic fluttering around in my stomach. I also haven't talked much. My suite mates scare me. People scare me. But I know that if I want this semester to be comfortable, I need to go out and talk to them, or else they will think I'm weird and anti-social. I have to strive to make a good first impression.
Classes start tomorrow and I think I might puke from being nervous. It is weird how panicked I've been since I've done this all before when first going to college two years ago. I guess the anxiety never goes away completely. But there are ways of making it better. My Mom suggested I do five things tomorrow, some pretty solid things when facing anxiety.
1-Buy a stuffed animal. A fuzzy one to have on my bed.
2-Go see a therapist first thing. To get the anxiety off my mind.
3-Find someone to help me get settled in, like an RA or someone like that.
4-Do breathing exercises
5-Buy and wrap myself in a fuzzy blanket.
So yeah. That's a great list that I will work my way through this coming week. Sorry, there aren't any pictures yet because my phone isn't set up on the wi-fi. Soon, though, I promise!
Now imagine 9/11. Flying out on that particular anniversary made me very uneasy. I knew I was safe. I also knew that the people on those planes thought the same. Life has a funny way of twisting into unforgettable moments. Whether those moments are beautiful, bitter, or full of tragedy, it is life all the same. It reminds us that we are human. It reminds us that all we can do, anyday and everyday, is express love and gratitude and respect towards our loved ones and anyone else who needs it. To that end, I feel incredibly blessed to have gotten the chance to say a second goodbye to my family to to that airline delay mishap. Thanks Universe.
Since getting to Scotland, I haven't had the best of experiences. I was picked up by Stirling Direct, by a bus driver that decided to drop me and two other girls off at a random place on campus to walk the rest of the way. We tried. But one of the other girls suitcases broke, a nice girl from Cyprus who I decided to wait with (for 45 minutes in the rain) while a security car came to get us and drive us the rest of the way. I arrived in my dorm around 3 and ended up having a massive panic attack/homesickness for the rest of the night. I tried to unpack. I failed. I ended up falling asleep on and off until 8 when I went to sleep for the night.
Today was a bit better. I was still having a panic attack but I managed to bury it while I went around campus collecting my ID card, attending a Study Abroad Information Session, and getting kitchen supplies for super cheap costs at the "Green and Blue" Environmental Fair Share Store. When I say super cheap, I mean like 50p for a pot and lid. It's a GREAT place to shop for dorm stuff. Great thing is, I can return anything I don't want at the end of semester for someone else to use! I haven't eaten much due to the feeling of panic fluttering around in my stomach. I also haven't talked much. My suite mates scare me. People scare me. But I know that if I want this semester to be comfortable, I need to go out and talk to them, or else they will think I'm weird and anti-social. I have to strive to make a good first impression.
Classes start tomorrow and I think I might puke from being nervous. It is weird how panicked I've been since I've done this all before when first going to college two years ago. I guess the anxiety never goes away completely. But there are ways of making it better. My Mom suggested I do five things tomorrow, some pretty solid things when facing anxiety.
1-Buy a stuffed animal. A fuzzy one to have on my bed.
2-Go see a therapist first thing. To get the anxiety off my mind.
3-Find someone to help me get settled in, like an RA or someone like that.
4-Do breathing exercises
5-Buy and wrap myself in a fuzzy blanket.
So yeah. That's a great list that I will work my way through this coming week. Sorry, there aren't any pictures yet because my phone isn't set up on the wi-fi. Soon, though, I promise!