Failte!
Its funny how I can travel halfway across the world and still have the same bad habits. I thought coming abroad might help me shed some of my habits but old habits die hard I guess. My procrastination to do school work is as bad as always. I have a 3000 word essay due tomorrow at 11 am that should have been done by now. I still eat popcorn almost every night. What can I say? It's my favorite comfort food. I'm still pouring salt ALL over my food. It's so bad. And it's even worse because I know how bad excessive salt is for my body and I still put on too much. And flossing hasn't happened lately. The one thing I am proud of is that I am an avid nail biter but I have not bitten my nails for two weeks. Some people say it takes 30 days to break a habit. My fiction professor back at SU says it takes two weeks. I'm gonna hope for two weeks because if I can break this one habit, it will be better than breaking none.
I'm heading to Dublin this Thursday with a group of friends I met here. I am in that stage between excited and nervous. I know I have nothing to worry about but that never stops me from worrying. I'm not even sure what exactly I'm worrying about. I guess with anxiety, it's never something you can pinpoint. Let me rephrase. Usually I can't pinpoint what exactly is making me so nervous. This is one of those times. I told a friend I was nervous and she asked why and I honestly didn't know what to say. I started listing off all the little things. But it's interesting because by themselves, the little things don't seem so bad. It's when they are piled on that they get overwhelming.
One of the things I am learning here is how to go with the flow. I hate it. But going abroad means going where you've never been before, and I've never gone with the flow. This doesn't mean that I will go back home and be the “Go with the Flow” girl. It means I will understand how to go with the flow when life calls for it. For the times when plans change, when accidents happen. It's good to know how to keep you head. That's what I'm learning. Slowly. Very slowly. Because I am still having panic attacks every few weeks. Which suck. But I'm learning to deal with them. Those panicky days, I do what I need to, and then I force myself to be around people a bit longer, and then, once I am home for the night, I hide under my covers with a bowl of popcorn and a movie. Also the stuffed owl that I just bought when I visited Leeds Castle, whose name is Butternut. This schedule works pretty well. I don't shut myself away, but I shut myself away a little. It works.
Beannachd leibh
PS. I promise pictures are coming. Remember that essay I mentioned earlier? Once it is finished I will work on loading pictures!
Its funny how I can travel halfway across the world and still have the same bad habits. I thought coming abroad might help me shed some of my habits but old habits die hard I guess. My procrastination to do school work is as bad as always. I have a 3000 word essay due tomorrow at 11 am that should have been done by now. I still eat popcorn almost every night. What can I say? It's my favorite comfort food. I'm still pouring salt ALL over my food. It's so bad. And it's even worse because I know how bad excessive salt is for my body and I still put on too much. And flossing hasn't happened lately. The one thing I am proud of is that I am an avid nail biter but I have not bitten my nails for two weeks. Some people say it takes 30 days to break a habit. My fiction professor back at SU says it takes two weeks. I'm gonna hope for two weeks because if I can break this one habit, it will be better than breaking none.
I'm heading to Dublin this Thursday with a group of friends I met here. I am in that stage between excited and nervous. I know I have nothing to worry about but that never stops me from worrying. I'm not even sure what exactly I'm worrying about. I guess with anxiety, it's never something you can pinpoint. Let me rephrase. Usually I can't pinpoint what exactly is making me so nervous. This is one of those times. I told a friend I was nervous and she asked why and I honestly didn't know what to say. I started listing off all the little things. But it's interesting because by themselves, the little things don't seem so bad. It's when they are piled on that they get overwhelming.
One of the things I am learning here is how to go with the flow. I hate it. But going abroad means going where you've never been before, and I've never gone with the flow. This doesn't mean that I will go back home and be the “Go with the Flow” girl. It means I will understand how to go with the flow when life calls for it. For the times when plans change, when accidents happen. It's good to know how to keep you head. That's what I'm learning. Slowly. Very slowly. Because I am still having panic attacks every few weeks. Which suck. But I'm learning to deal with them. Those panicky days, I do what I need to, and then I force myself to be around people a bit longer, and then, once I am home for the night, I hide under my covers with a bowl of popcorn and a movie. Also the stuffed owl that I just bought when I visited Leeds Castle, whose name is Butternut. This schedule works pretty well. I don't shut myself away, but I shut myself away a little. It works.
Beannachd leibh
PS. I promise pictures are coming. Remember that essay I mentioned earlier? Once it is finished I will work on loading pictures!